Making Strides

What started out as my least favorite project, has completely turned into the joy of my service—I am talking about the Girl’s Empowerment Club at my high school. Back in October I was tasked with celebrating the first ever “Day of the Girl Child”. After an unsuccessful attempt to reach the girls, I am thankful that I didn’t decide to stop trying. I will be honest, trying to work with the girls has been a daunting task; some of the hardest days I have had here were due to do this group. For many reasons beyond my control, the girls have had a hard time accepting me.

Let me back track a little, and explain Swazi culture and why it is so important to have a female empowerment in this country. According to Swazi tradition, polygamy is still widely practiced. The current king has 14 wives, and his late father King Sobuza II had over 70 wives. To this day, you can marry as many wives as you want. Even if a man does not take a second or third wife, I can bet you 100 bucks he has girlfriends on the side. Monogamy is not something that is practiced here, nor is it an easy concept to grasp by the people. Females are also treated as second class citizens. Yes, the Swazi constitution gave women more rights less than a decade ago, but there honestly has been little change. Unless you look at the physical copy of their constitution, you wouldn’t even know it. With that said, women have very little self-respect and confidence. At home they are competing with other women for the affection of their husband. They are taught at a very young age in the home to be submissive and take orders from the man (I am not disagreeing with the biblical basis of this, but I am disagreeing with the context of how it is practiced now). Then when it comes to school and the work place, they have been silenced so much that it’s almost an impossible task for them to succeed.

In my opinion as well as other PCVs who I have discussed this with, it is almost as if the women here have been conditioned to be jealous and hostile to each other. I actually feel that this is a universal truth to be frank. But since I’m in SD, I am focusing on the issues here. Traditionally the woman’s role was to stay home, cook, clean, wait on the husband hand and foot, and make babies. So if the husband has more than one wife, they have to fight for his affection, because I mean come on—who doesn’t want attention from a guy. And when you think of polygamy, don’t think of it as the Mormon family on TLC’s show “Sister Wives”, the typical Swazi wives do not get along. They live in separate house and only see the husband ever so often. This is where the competition comes into play, as well as the gossip—typical girl cattiness really. Now imagine, you are 1 of 3 wives, competing for your husband…. yet he is still looking at random women, I would be pretty upset!  Swazi men have a terrible habit of making advances at women. Speaking from experience I cannot go a day without getting proposed to or some guy saying they love me. These men come in all shapes and sizes; young, old, married, single, police officers, pastors…. It’s just what they do. I say all of this because it’s the ugly truth, and maybe this should be discussed more often in society to prevent the very present social issues of HIV/AIDS and gender based violence.

This brings me to the whole point of my post… why there is no alliance amongst women and why it is severally needed.  Behavior change starts young. The attitudes and behaviors are something that has been acquired from their communities. If this country is to ever make a change, then more women need to feel empowered to stand up for their social justices and use their voice. They ought not to be silenced in the work place (which has even happened to me here), the home, or in their communities. They need to get out of these unhealthy relationships that I am seeing every day and start respecting their selves with the respect they deserve. I want to see them base their approval of themselves on something other than a man. 

Now that I have hopefully brought you up to speed and explained all these social issues, let me now elaborate on the actual girls club at my school. Literally for 6 months, I was trying to get this club running. After many failed attempts and soft diplomacy I had to tip toe through, I finally can say there is an actual club in existence. It’s important to say this, because many times you go to a school and they say they have all these sorts of clubs, but really…. No they don’t. So I am proud to say that we actually have a club that meets every Tuesday at lunch for an hour. With roughly 150 female students, we have an average of 25 girls showing up every week. It was a struggle to get that number, but I will take it! The first couple meetings where very impersonal, we sang our anthem, recited the clubs pledge, and then I gave a lesson. There wasn’t much participation going on. Week by week however, they girls started bringing their journals and showing me the poems they were writing. I even had one girl message me on facebook telling me how much she loved writing in her own journal.  As time went on we did more interactive lessons; these were working because the girls were at a place where they felt comfortable talking (this is two months’ time into us meeting). I then saw the girls coming early to the meetings and joking around and being silly. They started leaving messages on the classroom board, for the incoming class to read after break about how much fun they had. They even made a skit and a song own their own initiative and shared it with the group.

The past 2 weeks attendance had been low for various reasons. All of the girls in last weeks’ meeting had the same idea, they wanted to meet an extra day this week and make posters to hang around the entire school. So Wednesday we met again and had a great time coloring posters.  The other highlight of that week was I had given the girls a task- I said if you can recite for me the club pledge by memory, I will give you a treat. That day one of the girls recited it and she got her lollipop. Near the end of the meeting, 2 random girls came into the room, because it was actually their classroom for the next period. The girl who said the pledge looked at me and I told her to go talk to those girls. She went over there, talked with the girls, gave them her treats, and invited them to join our club. The most amazing part is that my girl did not know the other two; in fact she was 2 grades under them.  I can’t get over how excited these girls are about the club. They even asked me if they can go to camp (Peace Corps has our own girls camp which already happened this year), so we are planning a two day overnight camp for August.

If you read the history of the country I mentioned earlier, you can then understand why these few stories are considered successful. 1. I am having girls regularly meet where they are getting a chance to share their voice and feel empowered. 2. They are actively engaging in positive and creative activities where before, had no outlets to express. 3. They are seeing the need too and want others to join. 4. They are accepting of another female who is not of their age or race.  I have so much faith in these girls that it gets me so excited every time Tuesday comes around for our time to meet. I have met some extraordinary women in this country, and with the initiatives like this club, I see the number increasing in this country.

Irony of Freedom Day

                            It’s been 5 weeks since I had the pleasure of getting my stuff stolen. To the guy who broke into my house—thank you for giving me headache, but in the end I got the last laugh. I was pleasantly surprised by the Swazi police; they supersede my expectations.  Within two weeks of the incident, the police found one of my missing items and had a good lead on the case. By the third week, the cops showed up at my door with the criminal in cuffs telling me they found all my things (well almost—I can kiss the missing cash goodbye). They escorted the criminal into my house so he could show the cops where exactly he took my things… only in Swaziland.

                Three days later, I went to court and was able to petition for my things, while in the meantime the judge sent the band of thugs (the three brothers) to jail while we wait our trail date. While I was taking the stand, the judge told me the next trial date would be July 4^th. “Objection!” is what I wanted to scream, but I remained silent and waited to talk to my security advisor, hoping he could tell the judge we had a very important party to get to.  We were not able to change the court date, but I shouldn’t complain. The fact that I can get a court date so soon is very rare.

                Yesterday, (July 4) was the awaited court date. I arrived at the courthouse at 9:30, and waited in the lobby till about 11:30. Looking at my watch and hoping to get this show on the road, I was finally ushered into the chambers. I took the stand and prepared to take the oath. The funny thing is I can hardly understand these Swazi’s. They speak English in an accent; they speak very soft and mumble their words. So being in a huge courtroom that has the best/worst acoustics, I couldn’t hear the judge to repeat the oath. What I said went a little something like this, “I solemnly swear… that the entrance(?)… truce (?)… Excuse me, can you please repeat? I can’t understand you.”  Yea… that’s exactly what I said.  Anyways, after I butchered the oath, I then answered 50 of the same questions from the prosecutor. I then had to prove that the items stolen belong to me. I tried not to sound sarcastic in my answers… but honestly I was so ready to be done with this. Each item I relayed, I said something like “…..from America”.  The trial prolonged a couple more hours. When it came time for the perp to speak, the judge asked why he was staying in my village. He said that he was a student at the high school I work at. I almost jumped out of my seat. This kid DEFINITELY was not one of my students. Did he even realize that I was a teacher? Thankfully the judge saw right through his bull S***. They boy found himself in a web of lies, which eventually led the court to the decision of Guilty with the boys spending 3 years in prison with no option of a fine for early release.  Very happy with the outcomes, especially since I got my stuff back and everything was settled within that one trial date.

So now that 2 guys lost their freedom, it was off to the capital to celebrate mine! Sadly, due to the long trial, I was extremely late to the Country Directors house. I missed meeting the new volunteers and the food was all picked over. The weather was also cold and rainy (it is winter after all). Looking back at last year’s 4th of July, this was stark different.  But reflecting on my year here in this country I am more patriotic than ever.  I can watch the news and be disgusted by some of the stories I see happening in the states, but after living in SD, I am so thankful for my freedom and my rights, and I am extremely proud to be an American!

Only in Swaziland

June 28 makes it one year that I have been in Swaziland. I feel like I have a good enough grasp of this country. I’ve observed, I’ve integrated, and I’ve enjoyed my time. When people ask me how I find Swaziland or what I think about it, the only thing I can say is that it is unique. So I have compiled a list of things my fellow PCV’s and I always say when we talk about the ‘uniqueness’ of this special place.

1.       Only in Swaziland will you be called fat and need to lose weight, then skinny and need to eat something by the same person in the same day.

2.       Only in Swaziland will people tell me that they love my hair, and that I need to cut it off and get new hair, that looks exactly like my hair.

3.       Only in Swaziland will it be over 100 degrees, hot, dry, then rainy, windy, and less than 50 degrees within a 24 hour period.

4.       Only in Swaziland will you find Gogo (grandmother) carrying over 75lbs of firewood on her head across a highway.

5.       Only in Swaziland will you find cows that really have no regard for anything. I saw a cow walk straight through a barb-wire fence… for no reason.

6.       Only in Swaziland will you see women dressed like they came out of a magazine wearing 4 inch heels walking down a dirt road the rural areas.

7.       Only in Swaziland will you see someone dressed head to toe in traditional attire while driving a BMW and talking on his iphone.

8.       Only in Swaziland will you have a conservative family stop everything at 8pm, to watch the racy soap opera “Generations”.

9.       Only in Swaziland will you have the government scorning women for wearing short skirts, yet their traditional wear consists of young girls wearing littler skirts and going topless.

10.   Only in Swaziland will you find a beauty pageant for EVERYTHING.

11.   Only in Swaziland will “water people” come to your house in the month of December, and make you pay a fine for wearing nail polish.

12.   Only in Swaziland will you experience your highest highs and your lowest lows and still find reasons to love this place.

13.   Only in Swaziland will the police stop you and have you get off the bus, then get back on the bus…. Just because.

14.   Only in Swaziland will you be told that you can’t use a cell phone or chew gum in court, and then you see two officials talking on facebook and eating, all in front of the judge.

15.   Only in Swaziland will a facebook status be deemed news worthy and make headlines in the national newspaper days in a row.

16.   Only in Swaziland will you see the best sky- the moon, the stars, the sunsets… gorgeous.

17.   Only in Swaziland can you by a banana for $.10

18.   Only in Swaziland can you live in one of the last absolute monarchies in the world…. Enough said.

Likhaya Lami

I have been in Swaziland for nearly a year and I still have not put of pictures of my house.  The pictures I am about to post may shock you. You may have thought that I lived in a grass hut and eat bugs while monkeys run wild. Well, the monkey part may be true [mainly because I live right next to a game reserve and monkeys won’t let a fence stop them from getting mangoes],  but the living in a hut part- not even close. 

The exterior of my house- complete with banana trees, mango trees, and orange trees… and if I want avocados I just need to ask my neighbor.

 

 My back yard inside the wall. I have my sink and bathroom outside as well as my clothe line. 

 

My kitchen with the water filter, mini fridge, and gas stove. On all the walls I have Swazi artwork and charts with Siswati to help my language skills.

My couch/ guest bed.

Other side of my living room.

View of my two rooms from the living room. On the left is my bedroom; on the right is my walk in closet.

My homemade shelf.

                               

                
                                                                  

Bedroom Intruder

So my extra-curricular activities over the past couple weekends have been nothing short of eventful. It all started when I went to a show at the country club Friday night. True to fashion, ya girl got wild. Spent all night dancing with my friends and listening to house music. It wasn’t until the wee hours of the morning that I returned home. Naturally as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was knocked out. I had two of my friends staying over that night, so they crashed on the floor in my living room. At around 6am, only an hour after I was asleep, my guest heard the door click. She thought it was me going to the bathroom but when she didn’t hear me come back inside she woke up to use the restroom herself. When she came back in, she realized that her purse was moved and her stuff had been scattered on the floor. Freaked out, she went into my room to wake me up and then I quickly realized that several of my things had in fact been stolen as well as multiple things of both my guests. I won’t say what or how much was stolen for security purposes, but I will say that the guy who broke in made bank.

To sum up the questions that my mother and her friends asked over and over…. Yes I was in the house when the guy broke in. He hopped over the wall and broke the lock on my gate. No my burglar bars were not locked. No, none of us were hurt, and no- none of us woke up. Yes we immediately went to the police and filed a report. No I don’t know who the person is. I can guarantee you it was someone with us from that night, but no they were not my friend and no they never came into my house. Yes the police have found something and suspect the perp and are investigating, but no there has been no arrest.

This entire thing has woken me up. I thought I was 100% safe in my community, never would I expect this to have happened. People still think I am crazy that I live alone—it’s a very uncommon thing in SD for a female to live alone. This has never bothered me though. Following the crime, I did go to Mbabane and stay with one of our directors for the night. Her house is so nice and just what I needed; I didn’t feel like I was in SD anymore. After my one night retreat I returned home, but not without saying hello to my best friend. We treated ourselves to some Chinese food. 

I took the rest of the week off; mentally I was drained and needed some space. I didn’t want to regret saying something. I would like to praise my community members, friends, and family in SD for all their support and encouragement. If it wasn’t for their kind words and compassion, I probably would still be stuck in my house hiding under my covers.  Unplanned, I started to feel better by Friday and I attended my last dance session for the week.

THE COMEBACK KID. So after a terrible week to say the least, I did in fact have a complete turnaround by the night. This night at the club was karaoke and I was in it to win it. Joined by a lot of my local friends, despite the competing event at BUSHFIRE that weekend, we had a blast.  The night wasn’t a crazy party like the prior weekend, but it was filled with good amount of newcomers.  When I went to talk to our DJ about selecting a song to sing, someone had already signed my name up. I was torn between two songs, TLC’s- Scrubs which is a song all of us females sing unintentionally here in SD, or Kelly Clarkson’s- Since You Been Gone. I chose the white girl anthem and sang my heart out… at least in my head I thought I did. Results came a little while after around. With my fan club intact, they had the corner of the bar going crazy. With their loud voices applauding and my two beloved bartenders in the back hootin and hollerin, I won!

Lusoti Mirror

                After much anticipation and speculation, our school’s English club is finally taking off. I am so glad that my team and I took the time to really make sure we had things under control before we got started. I must admit, at first I was wondering if this thing would really see itself through, but I have to give a lot of credit to my counterparts for sticking with me and working at a pace which is very unusual for them. So let me give you a rundown of our English club.

                Instead of having a club that focuses just on one aspect of the English language, such as improving conversational English, we decided to have many facets within our club. This way we have the full support of the English department. In the club, we have the debate team, the school newspaper, the drama group, book club, creative writing and tutoring.  So far we have really put emphasis on our Debate Team and Newspaper. Our debate team had its first debate last term with the topic of, “Vote Christian Only”. The topic was a recent headline in the nation newspaper that the king had said. They students did very well debating the topic and in the ended it led to a bigger debate throughout the audience. Whatever their opinion, I was so happy to see that the students were getting involved and thinking for themselves. This term the team will hopefully go and debate other schools. The school newspaper also did really well. We have named it, The Lusoti Mirror. The paper was written entirely by the students; topics included: news, opinion, short-story, poems, interviews, jokes, and games. I was so impressed by how well they managed to participate. Everyone now keeps asking for the newest copy. With this paper, the kids finally have something to call their own and hold on to.

The editors of the Lusoti Mirror.

Winners of the debate.

                In other news, the library for the high school just received a donation of 1000 books from a NGO called Books for Africa. Every year PC collaborates with BfA and this year I applied and was able to get the books. Now we will be labeling and filing them. I see this taking a while. My primary school finally has their library set up as well. They have already had book donations sent to them prior to me being there, now it’s a matter of getting them set up and on the shelves. So now on Mondays and Tuesdays I will be the “librarian” at the school. Wish me luck….

                And just another update on how my dance classes are going. I am continuing to teach both at the junior and senior school. But now I teach private lessons after hours. So I have a total of 9 dance classes. This term we will be doing several shows, so my students are working very hard. Very proud of the progress they are making.

                That’s all for now.