Only in Swaziland

June 28 makes it one year that I have been in Swaziland. I feel like I have a good enough grasp of this country. I’ve observed, I’ve integrated, and I’ve enjoyed my time. When people ask me how I find Swaziland or what I think about it, the only thing I can say is that it is unique. So I have compiled a list of things my fellow PCV’s and I always say when we talk about the ‘uniqueness’ of this special place.

1.       Only in Swaziland will you be called fat and need to lose weight, then skinny and need to eat something by the same person in the same day.

2.       Only in Swaziland will people tell me that they love my hair, and that I need to cut it off and get new hair, that looks exactly like my hair.

3.       Only in Swaziland will it be over 100 degrees, hot, dry, then rainy, windy, and less than 50 degrees within a 24 hour period.

4.       Only in Swaziland will you find Gogo (grandmother) carrying over 75lbs of firewood on her head across a highway.

5.       Only in Swaziland will you find cows that really have no regard for anything. I saw a cow walk straight through a barb-wire fence… for no reason.

6.       Only in Swaziland will you see women dressed like they came out of a magazine wearing 4 inch heels walking down a dirt road the rural areas.

7.       Only in Swaziland will you see someone dressed head to toe in traditional attire while driving a BMW and talking on his iphone.

8.       Only in Swaziland will you have a conservative family stop everything at 8pm, to watch the racy soap opera “Generations”.

9.       Only in Swaziland will you have the government scorning women for wearing short skirts, yet their traditional wear consists of young girls wearing littler skirts and going topless.

10.   Only in Swaziland will you find a beauty pageant for EVERYTHING.

11.   Only in Swaziland will “water people” come to your house in the month of December, and make you pay a fine for wearing nail polish.

12.   Only in Swaziland will you experience your highest highs and your lowest lows and still find reasons to love this place.

13.   Only in Swaziland will the police stop you and have you get off the bus, then get back on the bus…. Just because.

14.   Only in Swaziland will you be told that you can’t use a cell phone or chew gum in court, and then you see two officials talking on facebook and eating, all in front of the judge.

15.   Only in Swaziland will a facebook status be deemed news worthy and make headlines in the national newspaper days in a row.

16.   Only in Swaziland will you see the best sky- the moon, the stars, the sunsets… gorgeous.

17.   Only in Swaziland can you by a banana for $.10

18.   Only in Swaziland can you live in one of the last absolute monarchies in the world…. Enough said.