Expert in Love

Have you ever heard a song, listened to a lecture, or sat through a sermon and thought ‘Wow! This is for me.’? Well that’s what happened to me today at church. God gave the right words to my pastor today that just spoke to me.

Over the past month, I have been really trying to hold my tongue. I thought that when people found out I was leaving, that they would be sympathetic and sad to see me go. Guess what! I’m not as hot as I thought I was. The same people, who rejected me, still continue to do so, and will be doing it as I taxi out of Swaziland. I guess I shouldn’t have expected them to actually be sad, but a simple “thank you for all you’re hard work” would certainly have alleviated my anguished feelings I associate with them. Instead I am left with the impression that they never liked me, and when they weren’t talking about me behind my back (or in front of me in Siswati), they only acknowledged me when they wanted something.  To be perfectly honest, I HATE that. I sincerely HATE that I am left with that impression. My whole two years here, I tried to get this certain group of people to warm up to me, I wanted to work with them and not against them. And I am still for the life of me trying to figure out why they despise me, though I have an idea which I believe is really too petty for me to even type. The stress that I had while being here wasn’t caused by the lack of amenities I had been accustomed to in the states, it was from the group of people who on a daily basis stole my joy.

I admit, while they may have been the cause, I have only myself to blame for becoming distressed. I was letting the enemy claim defeat. I was ready to walk into my Head Teacher’s office on Wednesday and tell him that I quit and will finish my last month of service at my other school. But then, today I was encouraged by Paul. Paul of Tarsus, you know that guy who wrote half of the New Testament 2000 years ago. In church, we read Philippians 1, and I swear to you— my ears were burning!

In Philippians 1, Paul is chained up and under house arrest. He couldn’t even lie down without hearing the shackles move, but he still prayed with joy (v.4)! Then he goes on to say in v.6 that God is STILL doing a great work in us. Paul viewed his adversity with joy, and saw it as a way to promote the gospel. Me, I see it as stopping point and a time to be bitter and complain. If I truly am a Christian like I claim to be, I need to be thankful for what God has accomplished and be confident in God’s ability to bring His work to completion. I need to look at my adversity and rejoice that God has brought me to that circumstance, and rejoice that He will bring me through it! And when I think about v.6 and how it says He will continue a good work in us until the day of completion on the day of our Lord; I also let that resonate, that He will continue to help me do good work until my PC service is complete in 4 weeks.  God has given me the strength to do this for 2 years… and He is going to remain doing it all the way up to the last minute. So if God clearly says He is not giving up on us, than I shouldn’t give up on myself.

I thought that message right there was enough to sustain me for the rest of my time here, but then our pastor went on to read verses 9-11. The bullet point she used, was we need to “cultivate agape love towards one another”. In order to experience all that God has for us, we have to grow in our love for each other. We need to be experts in love! Confession time: I definitely wasn’t feeling the love for that group of people in my community who slandered my name. Who am I to complain?  Paul was in chains when he wrote in Philippians 4:4 “Rejoice in the Lord always!” If I am to be pure and blameless, I need to grow in love. 

Speaking of being pure and blameless (v.10-11), the literal translation means “not to stumble against”. *Again, at this point, my ears where burning. On Wednesday, when I had planned to tell my Head Teacher I quit, I also planned on giving those teachers a piece of my mind once and for all. Thank God the Lord stopped me with these words today, cause I was surely about to make a fool of myself. I genuinely want others to see Christ when they look at me. How would those teachers ever had known that, if my head is about to pop off? What I learned today is that our lives are either a smooth path that others will see God, or they are rough and distracting so that others will stumble to see the truth.  Looks like I have my work cut out for me this week.

Hebrews 12:14 “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”

Month of Retreats

The month of June, I spent nearly every weekend on a retreat/workshop. The first workshop was with PC for our COS (Close of Service), the second was a spiritual retreat by an organization in America called the Family Foundation, and the third was a ladies retreat with the women of my church. I had a lot of fun bonding with the people on the trip and seeing some amazing sites of Swaziland and South Africa.

COS Conference at Maguga Dam. Situated in the North Western corner of Swaziland, the Maguga Dam is one of the most beautiful sites in the country, if not the best. It is covered with the highest mountains and lowest valleys. The dam is just below the town of Piggs Peak, which is the area known for their forest. I went there with all the PCVs who I came with in 2012. It was our final workshop where we learned about our next steps as we go back into the real world. We learned about the opportunities we have as a RPCV, the resources, and the community. We also learned about all the stuff that still needs to be done. I still need to do two more reports at least, have a couple exit interviews, poop in a cup, get tested for HIV, return my fake penis model, and get rid of my cats. Thankfully I have 2 more months to figure that all out.

This was by far the nicest facility where PC has ever held a workshop for us. It was our reward for finishing up our service. We ate a lot, and played a lot, and took more than our fare share of pictures. The last day we all sat in a circle and wrapped string around our wrist, where we were all attached. As we sat in silence, we realized that this was the last time we will all be Group 10 together. After our moment of solace, we cut the string and tied it on our wrist. Eventually the string will fall off, and when it does, we will have moved on.

 

Ancient Paths Weekend at Mabuda Farms. I spent the weekend at Mabuda Farms, which is a beautiful Bed and Breakfast owned by a wonderful couple that goes to my church. They hosted this workshop that is initially from the states. I had never heard of it before, but apparently they have a huge overseas base. The workshop was about the power of blessings within your family. I was the only single young adult there, and I also had no children, so for me the weekend was more about learning and soaking in the information, rather than a “breakthrough”. I really did enjoy it and plan on utilizing the information when I do decided to have a family. They also did a session where we learned about our names. In Hebrew tradition, there was a name ceremony. They applied that same concept and told us how special our names our and how they reflect us. My name was spot on. Taylor, which I always knew was “a tailor, or someone to mend clothes”. It also means, “to cut, or covenant”. I applied that to God having his covenant with me. The attributes are also that I am a creative person. I wish I could write more about it, but I don't have the exact information on me as a write this. Then my middle name, Noelle means “Christmas” which I already knew. It also means “bringer of good news”. I look at were I am and what I want to do with my life and it totally applies. The attributes associated with that name are cheerful and adventurous. Kudos mom for naming me!

Women of Strength Conference in Mdloti, South Africa. This was by far my favorite place, mainly because I was right on the beach! I spent the weekend with 24 wonderful women from my church. The theme of the weekend was Women of Strength. The biblical example used were, Deborah, Ruth, and Abigail. I loved this retreat, because it was based on everything I've been doing here- empowering women. Our pastor encouraged the women to be bold and strong, to have a can-do attitude, to be humble, and patient, to be inspired, and to always let God lead you. We spent time going to Durban, and there we went to Ushaka Sea World as well as the harbor. The weather didn't cooperate with us until the last day, but that was perfect. Our final day we had a church service and communion on the beach. Looks like I can cross that one off my bucket list!

My Safe Haven

I love how I can be thousands of miles away from where I grew up and still find a group of people who I connect with; I am talking about my church family. I’ll be honest for the past few years I’ve been less than satisfied with the church. I’ve never stepped away from God, but I had been pretty hurt by His children. I was tired of all the bureaucracy and superficial people I saw there. Despite having been raised in the church, I didn’t feel welcome. Over time I didn’t care if I slept in or had to work on Sundays, going to church wasn’t on my list of priorities. As a result my spiritual life did suffer. I’m not blaming anyone or any institution for my docile behavior, it was my own decision to step away and I own that.

When I moved to a country where I really had to make an effort to follow Christ, I dropped the ball….. more than a few times. Again, I was still seeing the same lack of authenticity that I did in the states; therefore, I was still in this selfish mindset where church wasn’t on my “to-do” list. But you know, the good thing about God is that He never lets go of His children. I can’t recall one time where I didn’t feel the Holy Spirit’s pull in my life (just one of the many reason that prove this is real). So about five months into my PC service, I started to attend Simunye Christian Fellowship. I was skeptical at first to visit, SCF is typically known as the “white church” so I didn’t want to go there on that precedent. To my benefit the church was actually really great! I immediately felt at home. Six months later I became a member of the church and started getting more involved.

The thing I love about my church is how honest it is. It may not be the hippest or have catchy sermon themes, but the gospel is preached there. In a world today where churches preach watered down Christianity or the complete opposite and try to scare you into following God, my church continues to emphasize that we must live what we believe. We don’t claim to have “favor” just because you’re a Christian, we also don’t say that God will bless you just for showing up to church. We believe that true Christianity you must walk with Christ DAILY, and that your relationship with Him is serious and not to be taken lightly. This was an important factor to me because when I was living a life where I wasn’t taking my relationship seriously,  no one forced me to live right, but it was through my pastor’s continual guidance that encouraged me to read my Bible, and to make sure I was not altering the Gospel to fit my life. It was through that, which made me change my lifestyle by my own decision. It was genuine.

One of the greatest aspects about my church is how much it cares. We are involved not only in our community, but also surrounding communities. We also have great children’s ministry were we are devoted to the cultivating their spiritual wellbeing. Currently I am teaching Sunday School for the grade 5-7 classes, and I am also the chairman of the fundraising committee for the children’s church camp. Last month I also helped out with our Sunday School fun day where we had lots of activities for the kids. The church also recognizes the importance of women’s ministry. In just a couple months we will have a women’s retreat where we will go to South Africa for the weekend. Last year we even had a group of missionaries lead a “Women’s Day” for us, and we have a program called Secret Sisters where we pray for each other all year. In addition to the women’s and children’s ministry, we dedicate a lot of time to prayer and Bible study. Throughout the week, we have two prayer meetings and a Wednesday night Bible study. Currently we are studying basic theology; it is a much needed study, because theology really isn’t taught in Swaziland. There are numerous churches here, but the training isn’t there. Coming here with a degree in theology, I love seeing my brothers and sisters grow each week!

One thing is for sure, I will definitely miss these people when I leave. My time at the church is always the highlight of my week. I will always be thankful for the influence they had in my life and being an amazing support system.

Slip in Slide at the Sunday School Fun Day.

Pancake Dinner to kick off the Lent season.

One of the Sunday School teachers playing pass the parcel.