Feelings

Today as Term 2 closed, I bid farewell to the kids at my three schools. I really can't believe that this is it, my job as a life skills/ dance teacher are over in Africa. It only feels like just yesterday that I was standing before a sea of unfamiliar faces. Has it really been two years? It's hard to imagine that so much has happened between then and now. I've learned so much about myself and what I am capable of; however, it's my emotional strength that has been tested the most. Being here, I have had my highest highs and my lowest lows. There were days when I honestly questioned why I was here.Other days I thought, "Man, I can't leave. There is so much to do!" Sometimes I was surround by so much love and support, other times I literally felt like everyone was out to get me. There were those moments where things just clicked and projects succeeded, on the other hand I had those moments where I just wanted to bang my head against the wall. As much as I wanted to give, give, give, I equally wanted to be selfish. I feel sorry for my mom, as she is probably confused of what to tell people when they ask her how I am doing. Should she say that I love it here, or that I
am miserable? Both would be an accurate answer. As I am saying my goodbyes, I am overwhelmed with emotions. I am heartbroken to say goodbye to some wonderful people. But I am also heartbroken, because I still feel alone. People ask if I am ready to come home, and
without hesitation, I say "Heck yea!", yet I am just as sad to be parting ways. I don't know if I'll ever come back here, and that hurts me to pieces, knowing I may never see people who I consider family ever again.So how do I do I deal with all of these feelings? First I cry.... then I blog.