You've Lived in Swaziland When....

“When you go back to America, you can say you really lived here”. This is a statement that a Swazi friend of mine said to me.  I’ve lived in Swaziland now for 21 months. I feel like it’s enough time to give me the authority to say I know a thing or two about the country. As I sat thinking about my time here, I started a mental list of things I found specific to Swaziland. You could definitely make a list of how you know you’ve lived in Africa, as well as a list of being a PCV. These are just the things that I have encountered while being here.

 You've lived in Swaziland.....

When you’ve killed a chicken with your bare hands.
                When I lived with host family during PST, I killed a chicken with a small steak knife. No quick WHACK, no breaking of the neck, but a slow death for the poor little bird. It sure tasted good though.

When you’ve seen a man pay for his wife with cows.

                Traditional Swazi culture states that the man pays a lobola or bride price for his wife. The standard amount for a woman is 12 cows, royalty gets 35, and I set my price for 51. As archaic as this idea may seem, it is still practiced by most Swazi families. At the wedding I went to, the groom paid 12 cows, and the baby daddy paid 5 cows because she gave him a child. So in total the bride’s family got 17 cows.

When you’ve had a kid pee on you.
                I was working at Neighborhood Care Point center in the rural areas, I picked up a baby to play with, and she peed all down my shirt. It's not the fact that a kid peed on me that made this specific to Swaziland, but that the kid was an orphan. Swaziland has a high population of OVCs, and all of them are cute. You come here and want to hold and kiss all of them, and by that standard, it increases your risk of being a human toilet.

The culprit

When you’ve had a frog jump out of your drain while you shower.
               Most people in Swaziland bathe in a bucket; I however have a shower. The shower is outside. Therefore, I have to compete with snails, spiders and frogs for bathroom space. The first time I saw a head coming out of my drain, I thought it was a snake. Then when I saw that head jump out of the drain I ran out of the bathroom naked into the back yard. 

When you’ve had a lizard fall on your face.
                Like most warm climate areas, small lizards roam everywhere. Whatever you do, there is no way to prevent them from getting into your house. At first I was scared to death of these things, but over time I’ve learned to co-exist with these creatures. I see them on my walls, whatever. They’ve hidden in my laundry, whatever. But when I saw gravity get the best of the lizard hanging on my ceiling, I have a problem. Thank God I have my cats to chase after and eat the lizards.

When a man has proposed to you before he’s even seen your face.
                As a female in Swaziland, you’re guaranteed to get proposed to everyday. As a white female, you’re guaranteed to be proposed to 10 times a day. At first it was flattering, now it’s just annoying. My back is turned to them, but because they see I am white, its like I'm the golden ticket.

Just one of my many suitors.

When boMake fight over you to marry their sons.
                At church, at the supermarket, in the staff room at school, wherever there are several women around who find out I am unmarried, there is sure to be bidding war for me to be their Makhoti (daughter in law)

When you see kids playing with condoms as toys.
                It’s a fact the HIV is a problem in Swaziland. The government has made condoms accessible to the country. They are in every public bathroom, the library, the shopping center, the rental office, and on the bus. It’s no wonder why kids use these things as balloons.

When playing with a fake penis doesn’t faze you anymore.
                Life skills lessons, gotta love them. Every class learns how to use a condom properly, and since we're "professionals" its no bananas for us.

When you’ve seen more real penises than you care to.
                Public urination is a common past time for men here. As you’re walking, driving, standing….. you’ll see a guy whip it out and let it rip.

When you’ve met a prince.
                The king’s father had over 250 children. The size of the country makes it very likely that you’ll run into someone from the royal linage.So far, I've met 3.

When you’ve been to a 6 to 6 house party.
                When I say house, I don’t mean the place you sleep. I am referring to the house music genre. If you go to any club, disco, bar, etc., you’re sure to have a good time. When I saw 6 to 6, I literally mean that they start partying at 6pm-6pm. Some of the best times of my life.  

When you’ve been on public transportation that has 20 people when it should only fit 12.
                You have to get over your issue of personal boundaries if you ever want to get to town. The bus will always be filled, and if you’re lucky you’ll actually get to have your own seat. No sharing with an overweight grandma, a box of chickens, or a baby who keeps crying.

When having a candle light dinner isn’t romantic anymore.
                If there is a gust of wind, expect the power to go out. If you see clouds or hear thunder, do yourself a favor and have the candles ready. You’re in Africa now. Say goodbye to stable electricity.

When you’ve had the best braai of your life.
                Shame on me for thinking that a hotdog and a hamburger were acceptable pieces of meat for a cookout. If there isn’t a full pig or cow on the grill, it isn’t a party.

Pig Head. Yeah. It's as good as it looks.

When you’ve stopped wearing pants.
                Gone are the days of wearing pants. It’s so hot here; you’d be crazy to put on jeans. Ditch the trousers and wrap lihiya (yard of fabric) around your waist.

When the streets in your village have been washed away from the rainstorm.
                If you live in an area with tar roads in this country, you are considered to be the 1%.  The rainstorms are no joke here. I have to find alternate routes to school after a rainstorm because the puddles are too big to jump over, or my shoes will get stuck in the mud.

When you’ve cried at a sunset.
                Fact: Africa has the most beautiful sunsets.

When you’ve seen a snake.
                Notorious for being the home of the world’s most poisonous snake, Swaziland is hosts to many venomous creatures. Hopefully you won’t have one in your hut, your front yard, on your road to school, or under your chair…

When your family sized has increased.
                I can say that now I have 3 moms, 2 fathers, 5 sisters, 10 brothers, and about 100 children. It’s not a figure of speech, but a reality. If you come here, the people will adopt you into your family.

My Safe Haven

I love how I can be thousands of miles away from where I grew up and still find a group of people who I connect with; I am talking about my church family. I’ll be honest for the past few years I’ve been less than satisfied with the church. I’ve never stepped away from God, but I had been pretty hurt by His children. I was tired of all the bureaucracy and superficial people I saw there. Despite having been raised in the church, I didn’t feel welcome. Over time I didn’t care if I slept in or had to work on Sundays, going to church wasn’t on my list of priorities. As a result my spiritual life did suffer. I’m not blaming anyone or any institution for my docile behavior, it was my own decision to step away and I own that.

When I moved to a country where I really had to make an effort to follow Christ, I dropped the ball….. more than a few times. Again, I was still seeing the same lack of authenticity that I did in the states; therefore, I was still in this selfish mindset where church wasn’t on my “to-do” list. But you know, the good thing about God is that He never lets go of His children. I can’t recall one time where I didn’t feel the Holy Spirit’s pull in my life (just one of the many reason that prove this is real). So about five months into my PC service, I started to attend Simunye Christian Fellowship. I was skeptical at first to visit, SCF is typically known as the “white church” so I didn’t want to go there on that precedent. To my benefit the church was actually really great! I immediately felt at home. Six months later I became a member of the church and started getting more involved.

The thing I love about my church is how honest it is. It may not be the hippest or have catchy sermon themes, but the gospel is preached there. In a world today where churches preach watered down Christianity or the complete opposite and try to scare you into following God, my church continues to emphasize that we must live what we believe. We don’t claim to have “favor” just because you’re a Christian, we also don’t say that God will bless you just for showing up to church. We believe that true Christianity you must walk with Christ DAILY, and that your relationship with Him is serious and not to be taken lightly. This was an important factor to me because when I was living a life where I wasn’t taking my relationship seriously,  no one forced me to live right, but it was through my pastor’s continual guidance that encouraged me to read my Bible, and to make sure I was not altering the Gospel to fit my life. It was through that, which made me change my lifestyle by my own decision. It was genuine.

One of the greatest aspects about my church is how much it cares. We are involved not only in our community, but also surrounding communities. We also have great children’s ministry were we are devoted to the cultivating their spiritual wellbeing. Currently I am teaching Sunday School for the grade 5-7 classes, and I am also the chairman of the fundraising committee for the children’s church camp. Last month I also helped out with our Sunday School fun day where we had lots of activities for the kids. The church also recognizes the importance of women’s ministry. In just a couple months we will have a women’s retreat where we will go to South Africa for the weekend. Last year we even had a group of missionaries lead a “Women’s Day” for us, and we have a program called Secret Sisters where we pray for each other all year. In addition to the women’s and children’s ministry, we dedicate a lot of time to prayer and Bible study. Throughout the week, we have two prayer meetings and a Wednesday night Bible study. Currently we are studying basic theology; it is a much needed study, because theology really isn’t taught in Swaziland. There are numerous churches here, but the training isn’t there. Coming here with a degree in theology, I love seeing my brothers and sisters grow each week!

One thing is for sure, I will definitely miss these people when I leave. My time at the church is always the highlight of my week. I will always be thankful for the influence they had in my life and being an amazing support system.

Slip in Slide at the Sunday School Fun Day.

Pancake Dinner to kick off the Lent season.

One of the Sunday School teachers playing pass the parcel.

Do You Really Want It?

This is a question I’ve been going over and over in my head for the past month. As projects seem to be failing, and my good intentions are being mocked and ignored; I ask, “Do you really even want my help?” I’ve been faced with a lot of challenges during this journey, all which come in some different shape and form, to the point where you can’t even prepare for it. I guess now that I am nearing the end of my service (5 months and counting) I’m starting to look back and see what changes I’ve made.  I’ll be honest, it’s not like I had hoped for. When following me over the last two years, you may have seen all the programs I had introduced and initiatives I have led; so why the sudden letdown? There are several reasons to this which I’ll further explain.

White Doesn’t Mean Rich
NGO’s, faith-based organizations and other overseas-aid have really ruined it for foreigners living in developing countries. For decades, westerners have been coming to Africa with their sunblock and pocketbooks and started signing checks for every baby they hugged. Youth-groups have come for a week period with bags of their used clothes and spare change, and gave it away for every soccer game they played. NGO’s pull up in their big SUVs and build nice buildings, fill it with limited resources, then say God Bless. So it’s no wonder that when they see an umlungu (foreigner), they expect something, preferably of monetary value, from you. This presents a problem for them, and for me. At the beginning kids flocked to my house, but when they realized they weren’t getting sweets or money they stopped coming. When community members didn’t see me taking off my scarves to give them or bring bundles of ipads, my appeal slowly faded. “So what good is this umlungu?” they may ask. My response, “I came to help you help your community. Notice how I didn’t leave you out? This means I want you to actually partake in this and work with me.” The message was received, but the concept is so unlike anything else they have seen, that thus far it hasn’t been the easiest.

When I Say Now, You Say Later. When You Say Now, I Say Now Now
This leads me to my next point. I know my time here is limited and I will be leaving soon. This sense of urgency has thrust me to always be in “go mode”. When I introduce a project, I set a timeline, that timeline doesn’t consist of hosting 5 more meetings over a month span, to clarify everything we’ve discussed, before we start. It this also means that when you tell me you want to do XYZ, I will take you for your word and do it. Don’t be surprised when I actually come to you with what you asked for. So many of my projects live in purgatory; I sit waiting and waiting and waiting…… for what? I’m still trying to answer that.  Call me crazy, or blame it on my American values, but when I schedule a meeting, I actually start at the time I say. The reason why our clubs haven’t taken off is because I need participants to arrive on time. It’s hard to do anything when everyone shows up in the last ten minutes.
                                “What takes a day in a 1^st world country, takes a week to do in a 3^rd world country. What takes a week, takes a month, and what takes a month, takes a year”.
               

Communication- the Key to Everything
Verbal, Non-verbal, SiSwati, English- why can’t we seem to get this right? This school year, has been so hectic for no reason. It’s been 8 weeks into the school year and we still can’t seem to have an organized schedule. I think my schedule has been changed seven times so far. Yes, I am lucky that we even have a timetable and that I am scheduled in it; however, what my colleagues fail to realize, is that I work all over the community. So when you change my schedule at school, you also force me to change it everywhere else. Then, when I am not told about the change in the timetable, I am the one looking bad because I am missing classes. For the past two weeks, I have missed classes because no one informed me about this change. English isn’t always the common denominator; and speaking about me in SiSwati to others while I am sitting at the next table, isn’t polite.  Honestly I don’t know how to tackle this issue.  In my life skills classes I have talked about communication skills, being tolerant, respectful, fair, and so far it’s been good. I just wish this would spread throughout the school.

All My Intentions Are Good, Trust Me
My school’s library project has been one of my biggest tasks since I started. I’ve put a lot of time and care into this, so you can see why I am going to be protective of how the library is ran. Within a months’ time, the organization of the library has been less than desirable.  Partly because students have been flocking to check out books (which is amazing!) and it’s been hard to keep up, but also we’ve been changing the organization structures of the department. People have been moving around, but I have still maintained my little corner of the library, so let me help you!!! I am not trying to undermine anyone, but when there hasn’t been any training taken place, I feel it my duty to show you.  As I said before, I’m leaving soon, so I won’t always be there to sort out the library cards and correctly record them. Then there are the other areas of my service where I’ve done my part. I was asked to help with any given project and so I made myself available,  I’ve showed up, I participated, I gave input and ideas, I followed,  then I was disrespected, I loosened my reigns, and stepped aside….  In the end, I was the one who “let them down”. I always give people the benefit of the doubt and will be eager to help, but I’ve learned I can’t please everyone, so when I see myself not being valued, I know when to step back. Don’t say I didn’t try, please don’t.

I have 5 months left here, and I still have a bag of tricks up my sleeves, I have the energy.  I have a notebook full of everything I want to help with, as I know you do to. So let me ask this again. Do you really want it?

45 Reasons Everyone Should Live Abroad Once

Found this on BuzzFeed on thought it was appropriate and so true.

1. For the passport stamps.

2. For the stories.
3. For the authentic recipes.
4. And the local fast food.
5. And the chance to try a foreign menu in McDonald’s.
6. To feel lost and be OK with it.
7. To learn that some winters require a heavier coat than others.
8. And to learn that sometimes, sun cream isn’t optional.
9. So you can eat late, like the Spanish.
10. So you can roll your R’s like the Italians.
11. To question the culture that you were brought up in.
12. To respect the culture that you were brought up in.
13. So you can confidently direct tourists.
14. To experience bureaucracy in a different language.
15. To realise just how much you value your family.
16. And just how much you need your friends.
17. To learn how to make new friends.
18. To wonder how you didn’t know these new friends all your life.
19. To perfect the art of packing a home into two suitcases and a tote bag.
20. So you can say you did.
21. To be thankful for the existence of Skype and FaceTime.
22. To become skilled at sneaking excess luggage onto a plane.
23. To know where you’ve come from.
24. To know where you’re going.
25. To learn how exactly to serve absinthe.
26. To realise that no matter how lonely you are, you can get through this.
27. To see the sun set on the other side of the world.
28. To become adept at bargaining a taxi fare with only three phrases in that language.
29. To see the Northern Lights from your bedroom.
30. To see Venice from your window.
31. So you can distinguish Malbec from merlot.
32. And Glühwein from Glögg.
33. So you can have your own part of a new city.
34. To realise that you don’t need a common language to flirt.
35. To build your photo album for your grandchildren.
36. To fill your journal with memories.
37. To take pride in the moment, and not worry about documenting it.
38. To watch home sports in a different language.
39. To watch new sports and become obsessed.
40. To eat cold soup.
41. To drink hot whiskey.
42. To meet fascinating new people.
43. To realise that people might find you fascinating too.
44. So you can prove the guidebook right.
45. So you can prove the guidebook wrong.