One Flew Over the Cuc'koo’s Nest

I now live on a farm. I have my cat Remi, and now I have a chicken, or at least I did—but we’ll get to that in a little bit. So one night I came home to find a chicken in my gated court yard with no idea of how it got there. It had water, food, and a box. Took about 2 days before I realized where it came from; my kids’ mother had given it to me as a gift (which is a normal thing in SD).  There is one thing I must point out…. I know NOTHING about keeping a chicken. Anyways, like any other living thing in my house, I had to name it. The chicken was obviously named “Dinner”.  Dinner gave my breakfast 12 times; it would lay eggs in shower drain and behind the trash can. The best thing about Dinner was that it provided great entertainment. Remi and Dinner would “play” in the yard, by this I mean that the cat would try and sniff the chicken, and then the chicken would poke the cat in the butt. I also learned that I could not keep my front door open. Dinner would run into the house and make a beeline to Remi’s cat food. 

The best experience I have is when I woke up to the sound of footsteps. In my state of slumber, I thought, “Who is walking upstairs?” I quickly woke up to realize someone was on the roof. That someone was Dinner! I tried to chase it down and throw rocks at it, but it just jumped over my wall and hid out in the banana trees. After trying to catch it on my own, I had a random stranger chase it down. To punish the little chick, I tied it up to keep it from flying away. Now I want you to try and imagine this… cats love string.. Remi was outside playing with the long string that I had tied to the chicken and was tripping the thing!!! Funniest. Thing. Ever. Three days went by of this when I came home to find Dinner missing. It was half way down the street; the chicken had chewed the string off its ankle. I had my two little neighbor boys chase the chicken down. They boys were jumping through gardens, running through the bush, and cutting over yards. I wish I had a video so you could see the humor in it.  When the chicken was returned, I tied the string on his ankle even tighter.

Now by reading this, you see that I am speaking about Dinner in past tense—that’s because I killed him. Apparently chickens have to eat.  I didn’t know that. I thought when it was pecking the grass that it was eating. So I went to school at 7:00am Friday morning with a live chicken; came home at 3:30pm with a dead chicken. It had passed out on the ground and had ants crawling all over it. It was still tied on the string, so I yanked it a little—no movement.  Aside from it being malnourished, I truly do believe the sun killed it. Let me tell you something, this Swazi sun is no joke. It is so hot it will kill you! 

That’s my experience with poultry, I prefer to see it fried and on my plate.

Epic Weekend

The previous weekend was one big party. My friends from South Africa came up and we spent the past few days having a good time. It all started on a Thursday when I went to the Swear-in Ceremony for the new G-11 kids. To read about mine last year, click here. The Deputy Prime Minister and the US ambassador were in attendance. It was great to get to chat with the ambassador again, Mrs. James is one of the coolest diplomats I’ve ever met, and she is a huge supporter of PCVs. After the swear-in ceremony, as per tradition, we took the new volunteers out dancing for the night.

Back at site by Friday I rested up for what would become an epic weekend. By Saturday I went to the Matsapha Prison. Apparently prisons in Swaziland are basically one big social center. As my friends and I were hanging out in the yard of the prison, you’d see a convict walking in the distance.  I told them, never in America would this happen, we would have high security, fenced in walls… and definitely cars would not be allowed to park outside and hang out. This is just another thing to add to my list, only in Swaziland. After that, we went back to the Pub and Grill in Ezulweni, the same place we took the volunteers on Thursday. Only this time, the party just went on longer. By 3am, I was still dancing. Turns out that famous SA DJ Oskida was there too; we found out he would be performing at another club the following night, so we decided to check it out.

 By day number 3, I started to get sick and my voice was slowly fading- that didn’t stop me. On our way out to the hotel, we ran into Bohloja- he is a famous DJ in Swaziland and has his face posted on billboards throughout the country. Later on that day, we ran into another celebrity- he is a famous South African soap opera star. At the royal residence were we attended Umhlanga, we watch over 100,000 maidens throughout SD deliver reeds to the queen mother. Whilst walking the grounds, I was approached by African News Network for an interview. It was just something quick about what I like about Umhlanga and whatnot. Apparently it aired on Swazi TV Tuesday, because I had several friends call me telling me that they saw me on TV. Pretty cool eh? We stayed at the royal residence for a couple hours, and ended up being the last ones there- literally. My friends and I were in the stands singing popular song, Khona and dancing with the girls. My “daughter” who was participating in the event saw me and came up to greet me. After managing our way out of the stadium (because it was locked), we went back to the hotel and changed to get ready for DJ Oskida. At the club, I had yet another news crew interviewed me to promote the event. Man, I should start charging for all these interviews and photos! Anyways, after only 2 hours there, I was feeling very sick, so I left early to rest up for the main event the next day.

Finally on Monday, it was time for the reed dance (the main event of Umhlanga). All the girls come into the stadium and dance for the king. Traditionally, this is where the king would pick a wife… but it has been over 8 years since he has chosen one. My connections worked in my favor once again. A friend of mine who hangs out in Simunye is related to the king (not as big of a deal as you would think, but still pretty cool). I ran into him at the event as he was talking to other officials. I was able to chat with the first prince of SD. I told him I had seen him before last year at my swear-in ceremony. When I told him I was the girl who did the high kick, he started laughing and said he remembered that time and loved seeing that dance. Hmmm. Maybe I have a future career in store for me?

So that was the jist of the weekend; my friends have gone back to SA and I have retired to my bed. Until next time…