I've purposely kept my private life
private, but with every new season comes change. I suppose it's time
I open up a bit and share about what is very special to me. Sometimes
you have to get out of your environment to really appreciate someone
or something. The someone I am referring to is my boyfriend of six years, Jason. It's been quite the journey for us since I've been
here. Before I left, I always avoided the conversation of “what's
going to happen when you leave”, and due to my negligence, I came
to Swaziland uncertain. In my defense, at the time I didn't know what
I wanted and I also didn't know what to expect while I was here. So
answering that question of what will happen, was something that I
figured would unfold itself as time went on. Spoiler Alert: it did.
To catch you all up, on our
relationship “pre-Swaziland”, we had been long distance for the
entire four years, only seeing each other on weekends. That wasn't a
major problem though, since I was nonstop working and we both had
school to manage through. It did play a sour part though in how I
perceived the relationship. I had never seen what true love looked
like, and I didn't know what a healthy relationship was. Honestly, I
didn't know what I was doing and probably should have stayed single
till I had it figured out. Luckily though, I had a man who was
patient and stuck with me. It's safe to say that I've aged him a few
extra years.
Speed up to my two years in here in
Swaziland, Jason continued to be constant support for me. He
amazingly enough called me multiple times a week and we'd talk for
hours. You don't even want to imagine how fast an international phone
bill adds up so quickly. And all those trips I took, remember the
one to Durban and my Christmas vacation home to America.... all him!
But it's not those extravagant things that made me say, “Wow. This
guy here!”. It was the fact that when I still “didn't have time
to talk” here in Swaziland, he was patient with me.
It took awhile for me to finally come
around. I think the deciding moment was seeing all the unhealthy
relationships here. Monogamy in Swaziland is for the birds. Men have
a wife and about 3 girlfriends. Women have a husband and then some
too. *Not everyone... but I can count on one hand all the
healthy relationships I've encountered.* I just came to a point
where I got so sick of seeing this, and I had a bit of self
reflection. I thought, I am sitting here slowing self-destructing.
Eventually his patience will run out, and I'll be damned if I ever
find a guy as good as Jason. I'm literally throwing this all away...
and for what? Eventually my two years will be over and it'll be time
to come home, but by then, it'll be too late.
This is why I wanted to take the time
to publicly acknowledge the number one man in my life. It is six
years overdue. As you can tell, it hasn't been all roses, and it
certainly wasn't a walk in the park for Jason. Through a lot of hard
work and communication I feel like finally we are on the same page
and have the same goal in mind (and no, not marriage... but maybe!).
Swaziland was a life changing experience in all forms of the phrase.
The thing I am most thankful for is how it saved our relationship.
I'd like to think that had I stayed in America, I'd eventually mature
into a healthy state; but I really believe that because of my
stubbornness and reluctance to admit I need to change, something
drastic had to happen, like a change of environment.
So what's next for us? Well in about
three months, he'll be flying back over here to travel through
southern Africa with me. Then hopefully we will finally make the move
and no-longer be long distance.
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