Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Happens to All of Us

I lived in Africa for over two years, but it wasn't until my final days that I felt like I was actually living the authentic African experience. What does that really even mean? Despite everything I had  experienced, I still had my expectations. If you've read my blog, you know I've killed a chicken, I bathed in a bucket,  went to traditional weddings and other cultural events, I've even met people from the royal family. I sang, danced, and dressed like the locals. I walked down the same dirt roads  and waited for the same public transport that the majority of the country takes. I've slept in thatched roof huts, and ate dinner with my hands, sitting on the ground by candle light. I've seen poverty and been around the plagues of death that have stricken this continent. So why is it that I felt like I hadn't seen Africa? I'll tell you why, it's because I hadn't seen lions. Yes, the answer is as easy as that.

My two years, I purposely didn't think of this as like a vacation or a mission. I came simply to live. I didn't have my camera out every second taking pictures,  I didn't buy a single postcard and I didn't try to analyze everything I encountered. I just let things be and rolled with the punches. My approach was how I thought best to handle my life at the time; other PCVs did so differently, and that is perfectly ok. But because I acted the way I did, things that I encountered, that of course were different, didn't freak me out or surprise me. As a result, I felt more comfortable at my site. I rarely left, didn't take vacation, didn't spend my weekends in the capital, and didn't have a whole lot of expats as friends. My life was in Swaziland, and so to think of the African experience where I lived, is just as confusing as asking you how your experience was when you lived in "___(enter your old address)__". You'd say it's cool or whatever other emotions you had attached to the place, but chances are you wouldn't say that it was AMAZING or UNBELIEVABLE!! Basically the way I feel about living in Africa is how I think people who live in NYC or LA feel. If you meet a New Yorker, yes they probably love living there, but it's not all hype for them, it's just life. I hope this is making sense.

So back to my original statement about not feeling like I had the African experience until my final days. I felt like it was important to share that even the most culturally aware people can still fall victim to stereotypes and tourist traps. The next blog post will be all about my two week farewell vacation through Africa, but I wanted to first give you readers just a glimpse of my thought process as I was transitioning from one phase of life to the next.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Embarrassing Moments

    When I was sitting in the airport, catching up on my magazines, I came across the articles about people confessing their most embarrassing moments. It made me think about all the times I had done something ridiculous over the two years. So without any hesitation, it's confession time. You're welcome.

Language

It's no secret that there are always some language barriers when you try to communicate with someone who doesn't share the same first language as you. I was fortunate to be in an area that spoke fairly good English, but that did not exclude me from making a fool of myself when it came to communicating. During my first two months of PST, we learned the local language, Siswati. In one of the lessons, we were learning body  parts. I was learning the word for "butt", which is "sibunu" (I think I spelt that right). However, when I went to repeat the word to my language instructor, I said another body part, which happened to be 100 times more inappropriate than the intended word. Needless to say I made him blush and he called me a "naught naughty girl". Opps!

Then there was the time when I told my students to "get out a sheet of paper". I didn't understand why my students were laughing. Since none of them had followed my directions, I said it again, "take out a sheet of paper". The laughter kept rolling in. I eventually realized that to them, my accent made it sound like I was saying, " a SHIT of paper"; so that whole time they thought I was cursing.

This next incident wasn't really a language barrier, it was just me being stupid. When I was in the capital city I saw a girl who looked familiar. I shouted her name but she didn't respond. I knew this girl though! So I shouted her name again, nothing. I finally went up to her and said hi. She equally recognized me and we embraced in a hug. I then began to make small talk with her and asked her about her family whom I knew were visiting America. She looked like she didn't hear what I was saying, so I continued to talk about her and her family. She then began to speak like she knew what I was talking about. A few moments later we boarded our khumbi that would take us to my village where we are both from. But when I saw her get off the bus 20 minutes before our village, I realized I had made a huge mistake! She wasn't the girl I thought I knew after all! I did know this girl, but I only knew her as my friend's sister who I met briefly once. I was confusing her with another girl who I knew because she went to my church every time she was in town. Now it all made sense.  She wasn't deaf, she just didn't respond when I called her name because I wasn't calling her name! And she didn't understand why I kept saying her family was in America, because they weren't. She was so sweet though to oblige me in my idiocy. Every time I think of this incident, I feel so stupid. God bless her.

Clumsiness

When someone falls down, I can't help but laugh. I am no exception to my rule. When I fall down, run in to walls, or get smacked in the face, I'm the first one to throw my head back. For instance, there was the time when I was walking down the main road in my community. That route is host to the social center where everyone goes to drink. Basically it is the most populated area where you go to see and be seen.  Anyways, as I was walking past, this big truck comes down the road and it does not give way to pedestrians. I thought for sure that this truck would move, but its only a few yards away and headed straight for me. I end up having to leap out of the way. As I make my landing, I trip on my heel and cut my toe on wire. Blood everywhere. Then there was the time I was walking down the same road and coincidentally a car is driving down, not paying attention, and it almost hits me. Again I have to practically dive out of the way. This time I completely fall and scrape my knee. Blood everywhere.

Wardrobe Malfunction

Nothing is worse than standing in front of a class with your fly unzipped, oh wait there is. I taught an entire class with one of my buttons unbuttoned and my bra showing. Or how about the time when I was in the Indian Ocean swimming and my bathing suite kept coming off because the waves were too rough. Yes, boobs out, people everywhere. Then there was the time when I was at the annual Reed Dance, were nearly the entire nation comes to celebrate. I was dressed in traditional wear, so of course everyone wants to get a picture with me. Well the people got more than the bargained for when my lihiya (skirt) fell off as I was posing for a picture, and I am standing there in front of everyone in my underwear. Wish I could make this stuff up.

Sometimes it's not about being exposed as it is how you dress. For example, in the rainy season, the roads turn to mud. It is horrible. So what do you do? Wear rain boots. So as I walk around in my rain boots, feeling cute; people are laughing at me. For a while I didn't understand, but then someone explained it to me. The rain boots I was wearing were the type of boots the "cane cutters" wear. Cane Cutters are kind of like the lowest position who work in the fields all day and cut sugar cane.  So people in my community thought it was too funny when they saw a white girl wearing those same boots.

Speaking of mud and people laughing at me, there was the time when I had "mud butt". I'm not talking about the mud butt people joke about when they are on the toilet, that is gross. I am talking about the time when I was walking down the muddy road in my flip flops, because at the time I hadn't bought the rain boots yet. As I was walking, the back of my flip flop was flicking mud up on to my orange pants! The color contrast was horrible and noticeable. It took over 15 minutes for someone to actually tell me I had mud on my butt.
Thank God, I'm back in America and I don't have to worry about such things anymore.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

"I'll Show You What I'm Worth"


I am so proud of my girls. I mean really! If there is one thing that is an accurate display of the emotional struggle and growth that I went through, it would be in the establishment of the Girl's Empowerment Club. When I first came to SD, I really thought that this was going to be a fun project where all the girls would get along and have a good time; I guess I have my Girl Scout days to blame for that. I was quickly humbled when I found out that just because I'm the new kid on the block with all the cool toys, didn't make me popular with a lot of people. I was reduced to being mocked and made fun of by staff and students. I've said this before, and I'll say this again... never in my life had I been treated so badly*. The reason I stayed was because I didn't take it personally; these people still didn't know me. That's what happens when people are afraid of something that is different or challenges their beliefs-- they try and kill it. Don't believe me, just look at the news or open a history book. The same kind of thing happens everyday in America and around the world. So this challenge of getting the girl's and the community for that matter to be accepting of someone different from them is the reason why I stayed, but trust me, it definitely wasn't easy.
If you've followed my blog, you've seen me write on several events that the girls did over the two years. We had fundraisers, meetings, drama and performances, contests, a back to school bash, and now we had our final hiking trip. Most, if not all of these activities had gone unnoticed by our supporters (SWAGAA). The leadership in that organization had been unstable since the time I had been there, and as I said the coordinating staff at my school had been out to get me since day one, so they were no help in passing on messages to and from SWAGAA. Nevertheless, my girls persisted and continue to be the strong examples that their community needed.
This year, we held our weekly meetings; the only difference was that instead of doing the same mundane lessons that the girls have heard over and over, I decided to switch it up a bit. In our meetings, the girls would hear a popular song about empowerment, whether it be Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, or Beyonce. Then the girls would have an open discussion about what that meant to them. One song that really stuck with them, was Katy Perry's Firework. The lyrics go:
    " 'Cause, baby, you're a firework. Come on, show 'em what you're worth. Make 'em go, "Aah, aah, aah", As you shoot across the sky-y-y. Baby, you're a firework. Come on, let your colours burst. Make 'em go, "Aah, aah, aah". You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe"
The girls were so inspired by this song because a lot of times their society doubts females and reduces them to second classes citizens. To them a woman is only as good as she can cook and clean. But these girls have realized that they are so much more than that. They want the world to see just how much they are worth, and what their value is; and their value is something much high than money can buy.
In addition to the song in the meetings, I  had the girls lead the sessions this time. What better way to be a leader, than to lead? Some of their lessons topics included: "Girl-talk" where they shared personal thoughts and feelings, "Friendship", and "How to Be Healthy". I was so relieved that I didn't have to do the lessons, they covered the information their selves! Which goes to show that these kids are smart, you just ave to give them a chance.
So on to our final meeting, er I mean final activity. On the last day of the school term, 19 girls went to the Mlawula Nature Reserve which is just minutes away from the school. I was shocked to find out that they had never been! Anyways, we all went on a nice nature hike to the top of the Lubombo mountains where the girls could see the sugar cane fields that surround our tiny village. After we did our hike, we came back to the camp site for a braai (cook out), and then we played some games. The only leaders there were myself and our mentor, so I was surprised when SWAGAA actually came in their SUV carrying a sound system! They girls were so excited to finally get some recognition and attention. For so long, they have been told that they need to be more active and they other clubs did more stuff. In my mind, I'm just thinking, "if these people only knew...". Well now they know! As a result, SWAGAA announced that the club will officially be launched and will be getting more funding. They will also be using our club for different fundraising and awareness events around the country.  Look at MY girls! Yes, I am saying MY GIRLS, because they have been so close to my heart since day one. Even before they knew it and accepted it, I loved these little beauties. And now look at them, they have a strong club, they have become leaders, and they are now trying to get others to join.
They have definitely started a spark in their school and I believe they are going to carry it with them as the mature and make it in this world.






* Now that I have left my community and Swaziland, I feel a bit more comfortable about telling my readers about the "real deal". I love my community and my school, but I HATED the treatment I got from a good number of people who claim to be "holier than thou".  I believe being transparent is the best way to learn and communicate, so here you go. Ncesi.